Disclaimer: This is an imaginary conversation happening in a world where AI is not as capable as good programmer. Of course it’s wrong and incorrect in the current world we live in. So don’t take it seriously. The content is copied from this timeless video.
T: I see you’re working on a new look. My guess is that the I ❤️ Java t-shirt is meant to be ironic.
P: Doctor, I’m recreating myself as a swashbuckling hacker savant with a dark side who is actually a nice guy underneath once you crack his world-be-damned nonchalance.
T: Have you adopted a programming language to match your new persona?
P: I haven’t decided, Rust is the front runner.
T: Why not Clojure?
P: Oh please.
T: Let’s talk about another work experience that affected you.
P: Well, like most software companies we went through an AI phase. When our new CTO came on board he immediately hired a team of experts to automate our development process with AI. Just because his buddy told him AI writes 90% of the code in other companies. He didn’t want to be left behind. The prospect of having half the staff and twice the productivity was simply more than he could resist.
T: I see many patients who lost jobs to AI.
P: My team oversaw the work and prior to our kickoff meeting we received a lecture on how the new team was very sensitive to criticism. Apparently some people call their work slop. We had to make sure that no one lost face.
T: Maintaining face is very important in many cultures.
P: In software culture maintaining face is not hard, it’s very simple. The rule of thumb is don’t formally submit code that looks like it was written by two cats copulating on top of a keyboard. I mean holy Christ, we would review their code when we got into the office and once we stopped laughing and pissing ourselves and regained some composure we sat around and tried to figure out how we could tell these imbeciles that their code sucked balls without hurting their precious feelings.
P: Providing constructive feedback is always challenging, and imagine on top of that we had to submit my feedback to the AI agent. You instantly get the “You’re absolutely correct!” only to have the same mistake happen in the next PR. For fuck’s sake, the only thing constructive that we could have done was to use their source files as random keys for SSL ciphers. We ended up rewriting their generated code and committing it back.
P: They’d pick up the next day totally oblivious to the fact that the code had changed, was legible, and actually worked. Ignoring all the patterns in the code and start generating the shit again. They rewrote our app every time a new model was released. Every day they came up with a new markdown file to fix their AI. They promised this is the last file needed and then the AI will not forget things. But the agent always found something new to mess up, and I had to write yet another file.
T: What happened?
P: This happened again and again until the project was completed. The CTO was so happy with the work that he fired my team.
T: But you’re the reason the project was successful.
P: I was honored to be a part of one of the universe’s great pound-you-in-the-ass ironies. In the end they kept shipping slop and the company went out of business. When they found out who wrote the original code they blamed my team for not giving in to the vibe. The CTO was celebrated as a genius tactician of startup efficiency and appointed by the VC to another helpless company. You can read about it on X.
T: That CTO is a total douchebag.
P: The man was, um, I’m not actually sure there’s a word to describe this man. It’s a combination of extreme arrogance and utter stupidity. Douchebaggery is close but it’s not what I’m looking for.
T: What you’re describing on one hand is classic narcissism. The first sign is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Did you observe this?
P: On a daily basis.
T: What about a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, or brilliance?
P: All the fucking time.
T: Requires excessive admiration?
P: Constantly.
T: Has a sense of entitlement?
P: Overwhelmingly.
T: Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes?
P: My God, there’s a name for this?
T: It’s called narcissistic personality disorder.
P: Holy shit, but there’s still an element that I’m struggling to describe. It’s almost as if he’s mentally retarded.
T: Mental retardation among senior management in most companies is quite rare.
P: I’m no expert but this man exhibited classic retard behavior in every meeting I saw him in. If after one of his self-absorbed oratories he were to return to his chair and drool coffee onto his shirt while making fart noises with his mouth, no one would give it a second thought. Doctor, I believe he has full-blown narcissistic mental retardation disorder.
T: That’s not a real condition.
P: I can’t thank you enough for helping me work through this. It’s so liberating to know that my tortured existence under the leadership of this shit-for-brains was no more an injustice than catching a cold from a random sneeze. Had I only known at the time, narcissistic mental retardation disorder, it makes perfect sense. He has narcissistic mental retardation disorder.
T: I see our time is up. This has been productive.
Now before you go. My argument is that if you shut off your brain and let AI do the thinking you get slop. That’s the current situation. When you use it and you know what you are doing you get good results. Think about it, don’t pick a side. See what works and what does not.